The process of self-awareness and discovery can be long and difficult, but the time and effort brings the results and life changes you desire. Remember, you must deal with the past before making any steps towards self-fulfillment in the present or future.
While the self-discovery journey is different for every person, each client I work with undergoes the same type of process through a series of questions, writing assignments, coaching sessions, and action steps. Because you are beginning the process of finding your true self and seeking change, it might be difficult at times to understand the process or confusing why I am asking certain questions. As your coach, I may ask you something which you are unaware or don’t know about, but this is part of the process. In your journey of change, there will be many things you never thought about or even were aware of, but as your coach, it is my duty to bring these things out of you as they will bring you closer to your dream life. Remember, working with me was the first step you took to begin your life changes, so trust in me and the process, no matter how confusing it seems to you.
Some people comment that a strange part of the self-awareness discovery process is the attempt to reach different conscious levels. This is an important part of my observations and getting to know you as it awakens levels of your life, thinking, and feelings that may be dormant or that you have not felt in years. This may be difficult for some, but it’s important to face all aspects of yourself in order to truly move forward with change. While some things may not make sense when questioned, other things may feel fantastic or you might dislike how you feel as you share and unburden yourself. It all comes together as part of the larger coaching process and assessment of your values, attitudes, and behaviors.
Often times, when we experience trauma or difficult events in our past, we do our best to forget the pain and struggles, sometimes even tricking our brains into thinking the incidents or trouble did not happen to us, almost like remembering a scene from a movie. This coping mechanism allows the emotional self to put away the bad feelings associated with the traumatic experience, but doing that can also unknowingly hurt the present situation because of the repressed feelings. The pain associated with this past experience may make your memories and feelings actually WORSE than the actual event itself because of the layers of lies and stories you have told yourself in order to keep the traumatic experience hidden deep within yourself.
If you work with me, these repressed, deep feelings will come out because in order to enact real change and move forward with life, you need to address your past- I call this the ‘dark tunnel’. As your coach, I’ll help you through this tunnel to peel back the layers you have placed over the hurt feelings all of the years. It is often difficult to face these memories, but by being honest with yourself and with me as your coach, we will work through the overwhelming emotional baggage collected over the years.
In our coaching sessions, when we have identified together the difficult memories and experiences of your past, I will help guide you through these memories and your feelings of the moment. It might feel like you are being transported back to that difficult time. Tears or anger are common reactions to this type of remembering, but by addressing it head on with a professional life myself, you can free your mind from the scary thoughts and rationalize your feelings with my assistance. By taking you back to that traumatic moment in a controlled way, I can help you face the fears that you have repressed and built up over the years. Seeing it as an isolated incident or moment in your life will allow you to leave in the past where it belongs, acknowledge it as part of your human development, and then move forward with the changes in life that you desire. Letting something that happened years ago dictate what happens in your life today or in the future is a terrible thing, so working through those feelings can be tough, but so worth it.
While it might seem like this is challenging or scary to face, your choice to make positive changes in your life is worth the discomfort of facing the past. I promise that as your coach, I will help guide you through the dark tunnel, but you are the one to do the work. The light at the end of the tunnel is the ultimate reward in feeling free of your fears and ready to take life on fully. It’s not uncommon for clients to feel a mix of relief and frustration or anger after dealing with their personal dark tunnels; happiness at the thought of living a life without the fear or sadness, but also frustrated that the let a moment from the past define so much of their present living, almost like time was wasted. The happiness will win out because of your desires to move forward in your life.