Within each of us, there is an inner voice, our intuition and gut instincts, that is reaching out to us and often trying to tell each one of us what’s really going on inside. The problem is that most of us cannot hear it or do not know how to listen to this subconscious part of ourselves.
As your coach, my role is to listen to what you tell me, but also to read between the lines and to truly hear what your inner self is saying. I often ask people to repeat something that they say to me in a session and many times they cannot remember. This is because they are not truly listening to the words and paying attention to themselves.
During our sessions, it is my job is to work through the outer layers of talking and really get to what your subconscious and inner self is saying. I work through all the “fluff” and surface talk to dig into the deeper meanings, emotions, and underlying issues. Through training, I learned to ‘read between the lines’ to understand how certain behaviors and attitudes that lie within you often come through. Sometimes there are trigger words or phrases, or other times it is a feeling that there is more to the story you are telling me. It is difficult to know if or when these underlying, unspoken subconscious bits will come out, but as your trained coach, I know it when it happens and am able to push through the surface talk to get to what’s really going on inside your head and heart.
If we are working together and I ask you to repeat something you have said, it is not because I am not listening or did not hear what you may have said. I ask clients to repeat themselves for two reasons: one, to make sure that you are fully present and aware of what you have just said, and two, your words revealed to me an inner issue that is revealing about some part of your feelings or desires that can provide useful information on your journey to self-awareness and change. Most times, people are unable to repeat back what they have just said, but if they are, this is a great sign that indicates to me a growing self-awareness in how you communicate. This also means you are ready for the next step, which is interpreting what you said and how it applies to your life.
Often times this “reading between the lines” can be uncomfortable or difficult for a client. When I repeat back something you have said and question it, some people can get defensive or challenge me. These are signs of the subconscious ego taking over because of fear of change or the unknown. This is common as the ego is fighting your inner self, your subconscious.
This struggle between the two is where the rough work of self-discovery occurs. It is during these times that you as the client often bring me as the coach through the swamp, as I say. You might tell me stories or half-truths as a means of protection for your ego. This is the most crucial time for me as your coach as it is during this struggle in your subconscious that your inner thoughts will push through and I can read between the lines to learn the real story and help you in the most effective way. Stories will get tangled, details will become more muddled, and in that work, your inner self will reveal its true feelings and issues to me so I can help you move on.
When you decide to work with me, you are making an active, voluntary choice to make changes in your life with my assistance. No matter your good intentions and goals, your ego will push against this at every turn. This is completely normal and a defense mechanism in everyone’s psyche. As we work together to dig deep into your emotions, behaviors, and attitudes, it’s important to keep this in mind because it’s crucial to acknowledge this. By being honest and respectful to your past and history as we work through your issues, it will create a safe space for your subconscious to make changes and move forward in life.